U.N.C.L.E offices in Toronto were stormed today by angry Ceylonese-Sri Lankin refugees and their pet tigers who were demanding an end to civil war in Ceylon, sometimes called Sri Lanka, and often mistaken as Pakistan.
Fueled by anger, these "hot" Tamales had displaced the ubiquitous orange cones and "Road Under Construction" signs on Toronto freeways before making their way to Ontario Legislature where they brought the daily water cooler gossip to a standstill and invaded the gay cruising at Queen's Park.
We listened to their impassioned pleas, and U.N.C.L.E. is proud to announce the following:
1. U.N.C.L.E. will submit a strongly-worded, verbal request, in Latin, that the United Nations, consider, as part of its preliminary planning for the creation of its 2011 Strategic Vision Statement, a possible review of events in Sri Lanka.
2. U.N.C.L.E. will consider making an informal, verbal request, to the governments of Gabon and Madagascar, that they mobilize their forces and equip them with machetes and torches in order to train for a possible war game that would include the existing ruling party of Sri Lanka.
3. U.N.C.L.E. will review its funding priorities to determine if funds exist to build a bridge over the River of Tears that these Sri Lankans are crying.
We remain disappointed the both Toronto Mayor, David "What Me do Something" Miller, and Ontario Premier Dalton McGuilty remain entrenched in their positions. They have started that only City of Toronto public works employees, and the Province of Ontario Ministry of Transportation, have the authority to unnecessarily disrupt traffic. We encourage both the City of Toronto and the Province of Ontario to organize Human Rights Conferences to "flesh out" solutions and invite delegates such as long-haired, crackpot, University types who are experts on Sri Lanka, but have never been there.
Fueled by anger, these "hot" Tamales had displaced the ubiquitous orange cones and "Road Under Construction" signs on Toronto freeways before making their way to Ontario Legislature where they brought the daily water cooler gossip to a standstill and invaded the gay cruising at Queen's Park.
We listened to their impassioned pleas, and U.N.C.L.E. is proud to announce the following:
1. U.N.C.L.E. will submit a strongly-worded, verbal request, in Latin, that the United Nations, consider, as part of its preliminary planning for the creation of its 2011 Strategic Vision Statement, a possible review of events in Sri Lanka.
2. U.N.C.L.E. will consider making an informal, verbal request, to the governments of Gabon and Madagascar, that they mobilize their forces and equip them with machetes and torches in order to train for a possible war game that would include the existing ruling party of Sri Lanka.
3. U.N.C.L.E. will review its funding priorities to determine if funds exist to build a bridge over the River of Tears that these Sri Lankans are crying.
We remain disappointed the both Toronto Mayor, David "What Me do Something" Miller, and Ontario Premier Dalton McGuilty remain entrenched in their positions. They have started that only City of Toronto public works employees, and the Province of Ontario Ministry of Transportation, have the authority to unnecessarily disrupt traffic. We encourage both the City of Toronto and the Province of Ontario to organize Human Rights Conferences to "flesh out" solutions and invite delegates such as long-haired, crackpot, University types who are experts on Sri Lanka, but have never been there.
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