Sunday, May 31, 2009

Would You Pay to Watch CTV?

CTV and Global Canwest are promoting the concept that cable and satellite subscribers should pay a mandatory fee to receive local television stations (read CTV and Global).

You can read more about this concept at: http://savelocal.ctv.ca/

CTV and Global are trying to make the cable and satellite subscribers appear to be the bad guy because they receive "free" signals from CTV and Global stations and then charge their own subscribers to receive the signal.

At first glance it seems the argument to save-local-tv makes some sense. But only if one assumes, the final user - the viewer - has the chance to accept the CTV/Global station and pay the fee, or decline the station and thus the fee. However, save-local-TV says that the subscriber must pay the fee, EVEN IF THEY NEVER TUNE IN TO THE CTV OR GLOBAL STATION.

CTV and especially Global have a business model predicated on one CRTC rule. That rule is that any show, originating from outside Canada on such networks as ABC, CBS or NBC, must have its commercials over-ridden with Canadian commercials even if the viewer is tuned to the American station. That business model failed with the advent of satellite TV. CTV and Global failed to produce any relevant programming except for local news, and even that is horrid outside of Toronto and sometimes Montreal. Now, with network viewing way down, the CTV and Global business model is failing.

The irony of the CTV argument is that the save-local-TV campaign is now necessary because of the success of the old CTV model which favoured repeats and streaming of US shows rather than production of valuable Canadian content.

CTV would have us think that unless they can get more of our money, they can't keep showing repeats all day long, and we won't get local news. In fact, in a typical one-hour CTV news program, nearly half the "news" is commercials, including the so-called entertainment and fashion news, which are simply commercials packaged up like news. In addition, far too much "local" programming is about events outside Canada which will likely NEVER impact on Canadians. Do Canadians really care about the Koreans setting off a nuclear test underground, a war in Sri Lanka, whales being beached in Africa, a fire in Tasmania etc. etc?

I have 59 TV channels available to me. I have only ever watched about 15 of them. Just 12 stations represent 100% of what now I watch. They are CBC & Newsworld, ABC, CBS, NBC, City-TV, The Weather Network, FOX-Seattle, TSN, CNN, SportsNet, ESPN, and ROB-TV. I know that CTV, Shaw, Global and Rogers do not want to read this but no-one watches the 500 channel universe. In fact, once a person has about 20 channel to select from, they no longer increase the hours they view TV.

This may surprise CTV and Global but I do not need to watch Friends, Seinfeld and the Simpsons, 10 times a day, 7 days a week. I could care less about Hindu TV, don't care about Parsi news, do not need to see local programming from Hull, Quebec, am not interested in the talking heads at Shaw proclaiming the need for or against needle exchange programs, etc. etc.

Let us pay for what we watch, but only for what we watch, not for what is made available.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

GM Still Doesn't Get It

For decades, GM has held a rather bizarre business model. Deceive the customer and the shareholder, while pleading disability to various levels of government in order to qualify for incentives and interest free loans. And too many governments said "yes", not realizing their acquiescence simply delayed the inevitable death of GM and worse, took money away from valuable pursuits.

GM had gotten so dependent on hoodwinking governments that when it came to their own investor base, they figured they could hoodwink them as well. So yesterday, GM offered its bondholders the chance to swap debt for GM stock. It was a hollow and illusory offer, just like GM's "negotiations" for bailouts. The problem for GM is that the bondholders saw through it in 5 seconds and simply said "no". Here is why they turned down the offer.

Yesterday, GM's debt was worth about 10 cents for every $1.00 held. So GM came up with a plan to exchange $1.00 in debt for about 48 cents worth of shares. It was a sham. Within 5 minutes the investment community had calculated the true offer which was $1.00 in debt for 5 cents in shares. Since the debt was already worth 10 cents per share, why would anyone in their right mind agree to the exchange? The same question could have been asked to the government regarding the bailout. But here is the difference: the government is playing with other people's money, the investors are responsible for their own money. "No deal," said the investors, a foregone conclusion for everyone except GM management, the employees and the union LOL.

GM's death is just a few weeks away. The deadlines imposed by the financial markets are unlike the collective bargaining deadlines GM is used to. In collective bargaining, a deadline of Friday, midnight is imposed; bargaining occurs "round the clock" and out comes the midnight oil. The deadline passes with no settlement in site, so the deadline is simply reset, a new supply of midnight oil comes out and the bargaining continues. GM is now up against a financial markets deadline. In June, GM will run out of cash. GM has no access to money. So GM will stop paying its employees, and stop paying everything else. Midnight oil does not grease the wheels of the financial markets.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Embrace Change - Don't Grab Hold of the Temporary

This post is about change in the business world, but it also about life and death. The collapse of a business is similar to transition in life and the need to accept that sometimes things and people pass on. We can find solace in the passing, take a break and then prepare for something new. Bad news is something that stops us for a while, but we eventually recover and move on. Hope, where the outcome is inevitable, is paralyzing. It prevents us from going forward.



The North American auto industry is taking its last gasps of breath. The reasons are legion and there is no reason to repeat them. Whatever life that is left is temporary and is a massive drain on resources that could be best to use elsewhere. There is hope, but the result is inevitable.



There are two ways to approach the death of the auto industry. One is to extend it a lifeline, in the form of billion dollar bailouts. That will work, just like putting a terminally ill 95-year-old cancer patient on life-support will work. There is always hope right! But it is temporary. Death is inevitable. The money should be spent elsewhere.



The Canadian government is spending $6 billion to bail out GM which now, as it turns out, produces only 15% of its cars in Canada. GM employees about 12,000 people in Canada.



The bailout works out to $500,000 per employee!!



As an alternative, perhaps every employee could get 3 years re-training paid for by the government (paid for with a loan), plus the first 2 years of the re-training, employees would be paid $50,000 each. That works out to $1.2 billion, a fraction of the bailout, which will be temporary and will be followed by the death of GM within a year anyway. In addition, $3.8 billion would be saved which could then be used elsewhere.

Everything in life is temporary. Eventually everything ends. Holding on to the temporary because of hope is not the right way to go. Faith in yourself to move on is the best approach.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Roads are Not for Parking Nor Pedistrians

The City of Toronto is considering restricting traffic on one of its most important north-south roads, Jarvis Street, to make more room for cyclists and pedestrians.

The project, which is estimated at $6.5 million and will take a year to complete (as we well know, it will cost $19 million and take 4 years), is clothed in irony. You see, the additional space on Jarvis already exists. It is filled with parked vehicles, cars making left hand turns where no left hand turn lane exists and double parked delivery vehicles. The pedestrian space also exists. It is called a sidewalk, but admittedly it is difficult to navigate, full as it is of sign boards, parking meters and gigantic recycling bins.

So it should be obvious that, to solve the problem, just get rid of the parked vehicles and prohibit left hand turns and then we have the space for cyclists. And remove the signboards and the parking meters and we have room for the pedestrians. It will cost $300 and take one day.

However, there is another agenda at play. If there is no parking, then there are no parking meters and no parking tolls for the city. There are also no parking tickets. That means fewer people working for the Toronto Parking Authority and fewer meter readers. If there are no signboards, then there are fewer people working for the city department that regulates such things. If there is no grand project to rework the street, the politicians have nothing to hang their hat on at election time. The planners have nothing to plan.

Roads are for the movement of vehicles including bicycles, not for storing same. Sidewalks, by their very name, run beside roads and are used for walking. Seems so simple doesn't it.

Sunday, May 17, 2009



New and Used Available for Sale

I understand that a number of new and used Ak 47 assault rifles as per the above image are now available for sale.

These rifles apparently will make excellent tools for the UAW as they attempt to "negotiate" pension plan protection from the Ontario government. Former US post office employees might have an interest.

These items are being re-possessed by a number of "lenders" from the Tamil Tigers. Just climb the Toronto Gardiner expressway later in the week and look for the red flags. Cash, gold or diamonds can be used to pay the bill.

Do Motorists Really Drive Poorly?

The Toronto Star ran an article today that suggests that people are morons on the road http://www.thestar.com/news/insight/article/635489


It isn't that people are poor drivers. Its that the driving process, the way it is presently conducted, is designed to create misfortune and poor driving.


Simply put, people get the keys to a powerful tool - the car, and from that second going forward, society creates as many obstacles as possible for the tool to function as it is designed.


First, we have a test to use the tool. Its a test which ignores 90% of the capabilities of the tool or the environment the tool will be used and that is by intent. For instance, driving tests are always conducted during the day, despite that 40% of driving is done at night. Driving tests do not include children in the back seat, nor loud passengers. Driving tests are not done on ice or snow. Driving tests do not test the capability to install a child seat. I could go on.


Second, for most drivers their objective is to get from point A to point B. Once they are buckled into their car, and the music is right and the mirrors are right, they will shift into drive. Fine. Now, what is likely the first thing they will do after they have accelerated. That's right. They will brake. And the second thing they will do is come to a stop. I cannot think of ANY other tool that humans use, for which the default setting after turning it on is for the human using it to place it into a complete stop. That type of process is called conflict.


Third, once the car is in motion, the driver will be overwhelmed with information, almost all of it road signage that has nothing to do with driving the car forward as per its intended use! Think about it: you drive the car down the road and this is what you see:


Click on the above image and make it bigger and you will see the conflict associated with all these signs. These are all real road signs and virtually none of them actually pertain to driving a car forward to its destination! Imagine how well a plane could be flown if the pilot has deal with so many messages from OUTSIDE the plane. These signs do not include traffic lights which themselves often have a plethora of signs affixed to them.
As for traffic lights, what does a flashing green light mean? In Ontario it means an advanced left turn, in Mexico it means the light is about to turn amber, and in British Columbia it means that traffic could pull out from either the left or right side at any time. For heaven's sakes, there are only 3 colours of lights. Couldn't we agree on the same meaning for them on the same continent after 100 years of driving!
And we haven't even covered all the advertising and other sorts of commercial messages bombarding our driver from outside the car, as well as inside the car.
Lets assume our driver has managed to get the car going, accelerate and is ignoring the signs. What comes next? Ahh...our driver gets to dodge cyclists using the road, and pedestrians that walk off the sidewalk without looking. Even wild animals usually know better than to walk or run in front of a train. But apparently humans don't know this rule.
Well what might our driver face next? How about the public utility truck, parked dead-smack in the middle of the road, installing cable to bring the 500 channel universe to our homes. Or a beer truck unloading. Or a Shred-It truck......shredding, or the Canada Post picking up the mail. Would Roger Bannister have broken the 4 minute mile if, on his last lap, he had to run through a javelin pitch?
OK, so our driver is finally on the way. He seems to have overcome the obstacles. As he is driving along at 80km/hr he realizes that there is just one thing worrisome. Other drivers are doing exactly the same thing he is, but in the opposite direction, closer to him than the glove compartment of his own car. He is always 1 second from death.
Given the driving environment, I would say drivers are, for the most part, nearly divine :-)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ceylon, Tigers and Other Things From Afar *(Which Should Stay There)

With respect to the recent "protests" by Tamils in Toronto, I quote from today's Globe and Mail:

"Many Torontonians have long been puzzled by how, without any public discussion they remember, let alone any consensus, their city has become home to so many folks from around the world who periodically hold the rest of the place hostage while they make their voices heard about the very issues or crises that drove them here in the first place."

...and I add...

...and for which the rest of us could care less and know we can do nothing about. There is no Problems of the World Department at Toronto City Hall, at last check.

I am also puzzled by the fact that nearly every day I read what great progress India has made and how it is now a superpower. So why doesn't India, a nation a few kilometers from Sri Lanka with a near identical culture and language, have some responsibility for Sri Lanka.

Oh...yes....White Man's Burden.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Supporting Tamilians


U.N.C.L.E offices in Toronto were stormed today by angry Ceylonese-Sri Lankin refugees and their pet tigers who were demanding an end to civil war in Ceylon, sometimes called Sri Lanka, and often mistaken as Pakistan.

Fueled by anger, these "hot" Tamales had displaced the ubiquitous orange cones and "Road Under Construction" signs on Toronto freeways before making their way to Ontario Legislature where they brought the daily water cooler gossip to a standstill and invaded the gay cruising at Queen's Park.

We listened to their impassioned pleas, and U.N.C.L.E. is proud to announce the following:

1. U.N.C.L.E. will submit a strongly-worded, verbal request, in Latin, that the United Nations, consider, as part of its preliminary planning for the creation of its 2011 Strategic Vision Statement, a possible review of events in Sri Lanka.

2. U.N.C.L.E. will consider making an informal, verbal request, to the governments of Gabon and Madagascar, that they mobilize their forces and equip them with machetes and torches in order to train for a possible war game that would include the existing ruling party of Sri Lanka.

3. U.N.C.L.E. will review its funding priorities to determine if funds exist to build a bridge over the River of Tears that these Sri Lankans are crying.

We remain disappointed the both Toronto Mayor, David "What Me do Something" Miller, and Ontario Premier Dalton McGuilty remain entrenched in their positions. They have started that only City of Toronto public works employees, and the Province of Ontario Ministry of Transportation, have the authority to unnecessarily disrupt traffic. We encourage both the City of Toronto and the Province of Ontario to organize Human Rights Conferences to "flesh out" solutions and invite delegates such as long-haired, crackpot, University types who are experts on Sri Lanka, but have never been there.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Warranties, Guarantees and Swampland in Florida

The government bailout of the auto makers requires that a trust be established and funded to the amount of 125% of the dollar amount of warranty work expected to be done on vehicles sold during the restructuring process.

If you have purchased a GM vehicle, which is still covered by warranty or are thinking of purchasing a GM vehicle, then your warranty is good...... right! Sorry but the answer is NO, your warranty is practically worthless.

Today I received a nice postcard from Ross Foss, a Toronto-area "family" of dealerships advising that they are closing their Saturn Saab store. They are no longer covering or performing any warranty work on vehicles, new or used, sold out of the Saturn Saab store. Its not like Roy Foss doesn't have the capacity to do the work. Roy's GM dealership, which sits beside the Saturn store, is one of the largest in the world. Roy also has several other dealerships within 500 metres of the Saturn store.

Now, it is possible to get warranty work done. You simply call GM and ask for the Saturn/Saab dealer closest to you. And you beg them to do the work. In Toronto, there are a number of such dealerships. But what if you live in a smaller town that has just one GM dealership and one Saturn dealership? Once the Saturn dealership is closed, you thought the GM dealership would cover the warranty since GM owns Saturn and Saab. Sorry, you are out of luck. There is no "store" left to perform the work. And the same thing will happen when that GM dealership closes. And GM is closing thousands of those in the next year. So, you might well have a warranty guarantee but no dealership to honour the warranty :-). And remember folks, even if you have a Buick with a warranty, and the dealership that is left in town sells Chevy, Cadillac and GMC, then the Buick warranty is worthless.

Funny how the auto makers and dealers neglected to explain this nuance when they asked for the bail out money.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Guess Who Ain't Making Loan Payments

Some months back, on my sister blog, I quoted from a friend who asked, about the government loans to the auto industry, "if the banks know they are not getting their money back from the car makers, why does the government think they are getting their money back."

Both the government and the car makers claimed loud and clear that the money would be used to stave off bankruptcy and that the government would be repaid. Well, last week Chrysler went bankrupt, and this week Chrysler and its government lenders admitted nothing will ever get paid back.

Oh my, que una suprisa!

What was that loan money used for? Hmmm...might it have been paid out as bonuses to executives, used to prop up health care plans so the union guys could get their Viagara. Might some of it been paid to the lobbyists who lobbied the government for loans, maybe paid in cash to those lobbyists who then maybe, just maybe, treated their government contacts to a trip to say.....Brazil. Nah...or ...well...what da ya think? Is there a chance, a snowball's chance in hell, that is was used for retraining, or paying suppliers that had 90 day invoices outstanding?

The little fiasco known as Chrysler will soon be repeated at GM. And you Ontario taxpayers best get your pockets sewn up tightly right now. 'Cause when GM and its union gets through fleecing the Ontario taxpayer your chequebook is going to be a whole lot lighter.

The good news is that, hopefully, when these two dinosaurs are restructured, we won't have to put up with their shenanigans any longer. But who knows, sometimes things in life have a habit of being resurrected in some other surreptitious form and eventually rise to bite us in the ass.